It was cold, windy and very dark because it was night and the moon was
covered with thick black clouds. In a far distance a church clock was
striking twelve. Suddenly a light was blinking between the trees. It
moved to the graveyard where it stopped. The light came from a lantern
which was wielded in the right hand of Doctor Frank Enstone.
"We are here!" Doctor Enstone whispered to the shape behind him. "This
is the grave of Mr. Giovanni. Now let us dig him up, Igor!"
This night Al Coholic was sitting at a small dirty table in the Old
Pink Dog Bar. He had already drunk two pints of beer when he stood up
and walked to the bar.
"Hey, give me a pint of this light-brown stuff with gas in it!" Al
said to the barkeeper.
He got a pint of light-brown liquid with gas in it which is normally
known as beer but he called the beer 'light-brown stuff with gas in
it' because the beer in the Old Pink Dog Bar had such an awful taste
that calling it beer would make the beer God angry. After he had drunk
his third pint of beer he ordered many other drinks. At last he was so
terribly full with alcohol that only a burning cigarette in his mouth
would make him explode like one of these oil wells in Kuwait during
the Gulf War. Luckily he hadn't a cigarette in his mouth because the
cigarette slot-machine in the Old Pink Dog Bar was always out of
order.
On his way home Al fell into a pit. The pit was very comfortable and
so he decided to sleep for a while.
When Al opened his eyes he realized that he was lying in an open
coffin which was lying in an open grave. It was not completely clear
to him how he got into this situation but he thought that it had
something to do with the third pint of beer which he had drunk
yesterday evening. Suddenly a young lady was standing at the edge of
the grave.
"Wha... Wha... What are you doing here?" she asked a little bit
worried.
"Oh, I'm only lie here and ask myself what was wrong with the third
pint of beer which I've had yesterday evening." he replied friendly.
"But where is my husband?"
"Sorry, I think I don't know your husband."
"But you are lying on exactly the same place where my husband should
lie."
"Oh, excuse me but your husband was already absent when I came to this
place and so I thought I can stay there for a while." said Al and
climbed out of the grave. The young lady stared at him in a confused
way.
"Why are you staring in such a confused way?" he asked.
"I... I can't believe it." she answered angrily. "You are lying in the
grave of my dead husband and ask me why I'm staring."
"You haven't mentioned that your husband is dead. I'm very very sorry
about this. But now allow me to introduce myself. My name is Coholic,
Al Coholic. I'm a private detective and I'll work for you for only
100$ a day."
"Wow, you are the famous Al Coholic? I've read a lot about you in the
newspaper. But when you are really Mr. Coholic then you maybe can help
me to find the corpse of my husband."
"Ok, come to my office. There we can talk about the details."
On the way to the office the young lady (her name was Mrs. Giovanni)
told Al something about the mysterious death of her husband. When they
arrived in the office they had some glasses of original Irish wiskey
at first. After this Mrs. Giovani had given Al an advance payment of
500$ and the instruction to find the corpse of her husband.
Because Al hadn't any idea where he should begin to search he decided
to observe the cemetery. After forty-two hours of uninterrupted
observation he began to rethink his strategy. Forty-two seconds later
he had a new plan with the following two important points.
1. go home and sleep for a while
2. go to the Old Pink Dog Bar and have some drinks
He thought that this was the best plan he had had in his whole life
and so he began to execute it.
Igor Ostrovitch was the servant, the butler, the cook and the gardener
of Doctor Enstone in one person. Today he had his day off and so he
went to the Old Pink Dog Bar for some drinks. When he entered the bar
he met his old friend Al Coholic.
"Hi Al, nice to see you!" said Igor.
"Hello Igor! How are you?" asked Al.
"Fine, thank you." replied Igor.
"And the doctor? Does he have success with his Anti-AIDS-Virus?"
"No, but he has developed a new drug which makes you seemingly dead
for five days. He has already made an experiment with this young
Italian guy and..."
"Giovanni!" shouted Al loudly.
"Why do you know his name?" asked Igor very surprised.
"Wonderful! Fantastic! Beautiful! Has he survived the experiment?"
"Yes, he has." said Igor a little more surprised.
"Great! Superb! Where is he now?"
"He stays in the house of Doctor Enstone because he wants to wait
until the money of his life-insurance will be paid to his wife." said
Igor and shook his head because he thought that Al had gone completely
bananas.
"Thank you very much Igor! You have helped me a lot." shoutet Al and
left the bar quickly because he wanted to tell Mrs. Giovanni the
amazing news.
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